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Ultra Void: Chapter 1
Published 2 weeks ago
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Okay, so, let me know what you think. Chapters 1 and 2, maybe even three are more of a prologue/introduction, they give the setting. Most of the story will take place... ah just read it
. This may end up being quite different than anything I've written before, and should change drastically. Also, the tag to find all my chapters will be VoidFlame, please don't use that tag without permission. Anyways, here we go

<. The sky threatened rain with its deep gray clouds, and the wind, which soon promised to be more than a whisper, rustled through Nicholas Turner’s dark hair as he walked quickly down the dirt path settled between the towering stalks of the Peekberry fields. He’d grown up a farmer for the past sixteen years on the massive, yet lonesome, planet of Rether. The place was perfect for farming, most of its land in ready condition for it, especially for the native crop that could almost thrive without any care. The bits of land that wasn’t made for this rose up in mountains, which were visibly settled behind the hills Nicholas was making his way towards. The rest of the planet was covered in sea, and it was from the sea where the storms came, rushing in about every two months or so. They stay for about half a week, bringing in just enough water and cool air to satisfy the hungry crops. Nicholas had just finished locking up their helper droids in the storehouses, they could get damaged in the harsh weather, and reprograming them to stay inside would take too long. So against their will they were locked up until the sky cleared and the ground came solid enough for them to walk on, or roll in some of their cases.

Nicholas stopped suddenly and looked down, before him the ground opened in a large hole, tunneling down into darkness. This wasn’t an unusual sight, but a slightly frustrating one. Despite the wonderful conditions in which they lived, at least for their occupation, one major flaw did reside there, Epoworms. These were massive creatures and burrowed under the earth, making large tunnels big enough for a man to crawl through. Through they could seem to care less about the Peekberries, they did pose a threat every time they surfaced for some undetectable reason, uprooting large quantities of crop that would take forever to recover. He sighed and looked around, expecting to see more unsettled earth. None could be seen, at least not directly.

“Are you going down there?” A playful voice asked from behind, startling Nicholas out of his deep contemplation. He turned and looked into the misty blue eyes of the young girl who’d approached from behind. She had dirty blond hair that flourished with the wind about her shoulders, and a free look that always gave Nicholas the impression that she’d somehow spawned directly from the ocean waves. Her name was Jacklin, the daughter of Kieth and Jen Renlord, one of the other two families who had settled here to farm. Jacklin and Nicholas had been friends since before they could remember, and hand’t really known anyone else to call a friend, besides the lazy and overweight Ron Fitherton who lived miles away and almost never showed his face.
“Well, hurry up and answer me before we get drenched in the rain,” Jacklin said, not being one to let jests end with only a blank or surprised stare. Nicholas just smiled and looked back down the hole, and then turned back to his friend.

“Seeing has how climbing down a worm hole isn’t going to keep me any dryer than standing here, I think I’ll head home.”

“And I’ll follow you,” she said, stepping forward to walk beside him.

“You’re going to get soaked on the way to your house if you do, unless the rain decides to wait for another hour or so.”

“I don’t care,” she said with a shrug. “I’m not going to see you for at least half a week, if the storm is in a hurry, and I don’t mind getting wet.”

“I’m more concerned about you getting home safely, these storms can be ugly.”

“It’s only a little over two miles, and I’ll be surprised if the storm has started by the time I head out.”

Nicholas shook his head with a smile. “First you say if I don’t hurry up and answer we’re going to get soaked, and then you say the storm probably won’t start until you leave my home, this isn’t adding up.”

Jacklin didn’t respond, but her smile grew larger. She always seemed to smile, which may have been one of her attributes that made her look so free. They kept on walking, silently enjoying each others company, something they seemed to do more and more. The truth was that they were going to get married. They had known this for years It seemed, and wouldn’t have had it any other way. They had always been best friends, and in reality seemed more like family than anything else. In at least two years, maybe more, Nicholas would build a home, clear out his own farming land, and they’ed start a family. It was a simple and fairly straight forward life, yet something they both wanted and looked forward to. As they had grown older however, this reality began to sink in more and more, and a science would follow when it did. It wasn’t and awkward silence, but more of an understanding one. They both felt like they weren’t ready, or that something was missing, but neither really wanted to admit it, though they both knew each others thoughts.
Nicholas looked up from his contemplating just then as a the deep rumble of thunder met their ears.

“I guess it’s coming sooner than I expected,” Jacklin said quietly.

“You should head home.”

“Your’s is only a few bends away, I might as well finished what I came for.” She looked up, and down the winding path. They’ed almost reached the foothills, where the Turner’s small settlement rested. Suddenly she stopped and cocked her head, breathing in deeply. The scent of a foul smoke was in the air, and she looked around until her eyes caught the withering trail of smoke that rose slowly from right about where Nicholas’ house should be. “Is your father burning something?” She asked in a quiet and puzzled voice.

“I… don’t know.” Nicholas said, running his hand across the left side of his face and standing in confusion. “I’m going to run and see what’s going on.” He took off in a sprint, Jacklin at his heels. As they grew closer the smell became stronger, and his Nicholas’ heart began to beat hard. He didn’t know why it did, but something was scaring him, which was strange. They’ed never really had any reason to fear, things had always been relatively safe, but something about all this bothered him. He rounded the last bend, but there was still about a fifty foot stretch of path where the stalks blocked the view of his home. He passed this in short time, and then stoped so abruptly that Jacklin practically ran into him, grasping his arms to keep her balance. She looked up and stood speechless at the site before them, her gut instantly feeling sick. Nicholas’ house was smoldering, mostly, all except the closest wall to them. On this was smeared in black, white, and red the sickly painting of a skull.

“What on…” Nicholas trailed off as he gasped for breath, and ran forwards. “Dad!” He shouted, running towards the painting and then touching it with his fingers only to leap back in horror. The red paint, didn’t seem to be paint at all. His breathing began to quicken, turning in short gasps, and he ran around the corner. “Dad, Mom!” He called before stopping again, and falling to his knees. Before him stood to pikes, each crowned with fresh human skulls that wobbled and tottered in the wind. He began to tremble and sob, clasping the chard earth with his hands. Jacklin hadn’t seen this yet, and waited a minute before following him around the house.

“Nicholas did—” she stopped and covered her mouth in utter shock, taking a few steps backwards. She wasn’t certain what to think, or do, and just stood there ablivoeus to the tears that had began to run down her face. Nicholas had never shown strong emotion, whether it was sadness, excitement, or anger, and watching him grieve was almost as unnerving as the scene about them. “Nicholas,” she whispered, walking over and kneeling down to place her hands on his shaking shoulders. She kept her gaze down, unable to even give a glance to the gut wrenching sight before them.
“I don’t think it’s safe here, please, come with me.” She said, looking around and then up at the coming storm. “Please, I’m scared.”

“Then go home,” he whispered wearily.

“No, I don’t know what’s out there, and I can’t leave you here.”

A cold moment of silence passed, along with small bits of rain that began to strike in various places. Sizzles could be heard from the smoldering ruins when the droplets me with it, and a howl from the wind sent nervous shivers down Jacklin’s spine. As this faded away however, a new sound met her ears, a much darker and eerier sound. A single horn blast was echoing through the hills above them, and as she looked up Jacklin saw a tattered red banner being lifted above the trees and shrubs that rested on the slope closest to them.

“Look,” she managed to whisper, prodding her friend to turn his gaze, but he already had and was now rising to his feet. He felt shaky and light headed, but a new power seemed to be seizing his bones. Fear.

“Come with me,” he said, clasping Jacklin’s hand and pulling her away towards the fields. He used his free hand to lose a small hand blaster from a holster just as they ducked behind the leafy wall of Peekberries. He didn’t stop here, but trudged on through, looking this way and that.

“Where are we going,” Jacklin whispered in fear.

“The Epoworm holes. There are a few around here, somewhere, that we never filled in. We can hide in those for a while, at least.”

“Oh,” she said, not entirely thrilled to crawl into a worm hole, but too afraid to protest. She held Nicholas’ hand tightly, as if letting go would bring them both to a sudden demise.

They wandered through the maze of vegetation for a while longer, every second seeming to literally pass before their eyes. The rain continued to fall at the same rate, only a few drops here and there. This may have been a blessing, or a curse, they couldn’t tell. While rain would make finding their hiding spot more difficult, it may also shield them from the unseen shadow that was most certainly pursuing them. Nicholas pushed through a few more feet of Peekberry and then tripped, Jacklin falling with him andcutting her hand on a dead, broken, stalk.

“Are you alright,” Nicholas said, helping her up and sighing with relief as he looked at the uneven ground about their feet.

“No,” she said, wiping away bits of dirt mixed with blood from the wound.

“I’m sorry, but we’re here.” He stepped over to a larger looking hole and peered down. “This one will work, I think.” He took Jacklin’s hand once more and helped lower her down, about six feet.

“Do you have a light, the tunnels are dark?” She asked once she’d reached the bottom and peered into the musty shafts around her.

“Yes, um,” he shuffled around at a pouch on his side, his hands shaking so violently that he could barely undo the straps that held it closed. Reaching in he pulled out a small silver ball, and then tossed it down to Jacklin. She caught it, wincing in pain as it struck her cut hand. It was made of Clorside stone, and all she had to do was rub it between her hands and it would give off a radiant white glow. She tried this, but more tears welled up in her eyes as the pressure only caused her throbbing hand to burn more.

“I can’t get it to work, my hand hurts too bad.” She called back up.

“That’s alright I’m coming—” he stopped suddenly and his heart skipped a beat. A cold metal object had just rested on the back of his neck, followed by the familiar click of a cocked gun.

“I wouldn’t make any sudden moves,” a voice said in a higher yet somewhat whispery and static tone, which seemed to be created from some kind of voice inflecting helmet or mouthpiece. “Please, turn around so I can get a good look at your face, though, I’d drop your gun first,” it continued.

Nicholas was uncertain as what to do. He looked down nervously at Jacklin, and the closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He dropped the gun at his feet and turned slowly to gaze into the blue visor of some kind of tall solider clad in black armor. He didn’t look evil in any way, more like a military guard of some sort, but to Nicholas this made no difference. His parents had been killed, and someone was after his life as well, this man was currently the most likely suspect, and he felt certain death was only seconds from claiming him as well.

“Go ahead, kill bme however you like, but please leave the girl alone,” he muttered, his voice trembling. “She’s not part of my family, so if you have something against…” he trailed off as the solider put his gun away and instead pulled out a small black rod of some sort, handing it to him “What is that?” He as asked, confused.

“A flashlight, for the girl.”

Nicholas cocked his head and just stared for a moment, but took it quickly as soon as the newcomer began to look impatient. He turned it on and dropped it down the hole, where Jacklin caught it, being confused herself. “What’s gong on?” She asked.

“I’m saving your lives,” the stranger said bluntly. “Now you stay put while your friend here follows me, though I suggest he pick up his weapon first.” He pointed down at the gun, which Nicholas quickly stooped down to retrieve, keeping an eye on the man the entire time. “Follow me,” he said with a wave of his arm.


“You can kiss her goodbye another day, but right now someone it thirsting for your blood, and since I already know you don’t want to end up as the refreshment of some devil I command you to come immediately.”

Nicholas nodded, giving once last glance down the hole as he stepped away and began to follow the stranger. This felt wrong, but at the same time it also felt right. He had no idea who this person was, and felt no reason to trust him, but It seemed like the only good option, if one existed. If this man was going to kill him it didn’t matter if he followed him or not, so he might as well hope for the best.

“Stop,” the man said after about ten minutes of walking, kneeling down and motioning with his hand for Nicholas to do the same. They had come near the edge of a path, and standing in it were about five men, each adorned in mismatched armor, red rags and capes, and orange visors and glowed like hot coals. “Are you ready for some fun?” >

Goodbye, God bless, Greenflame24!
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2 weeks ago
Holy cow, this is EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd love to see more of this!
2 weeks ago
@Gman How did I know you would be the first to comment?
, anyways thank you! I didn't anticipate such a warm response.
2 weeks ago
oh boy! this is epic dang it gman you took my one AWESOME!!!!!
2 weeks ago
man that was amazing!!!
i have a good feeling about this one- wait, holy crap I NEVER MADE MY CHARACTER!! Ahhh i'm so sorry dude. . . ):
2 weeks ago
Oh yes, I am so ready for some fun! You've sure improved in writing, Greeny! Wow!

"a free look that always gave Nicholas the impression that she’d somehow spawned directly from the ocean waves."
"She held Nicholas’ hand tightly, as if letting go would bring them both to a sudden demise." I love these descriptions!

I reckon right now all you need to work on are proofreading for typos and grammar errors, which can kinda throw a reader out.
Still, great jumping gumdrops! This is exciting!
2 weeks ago
dude, I love this!!!! this is gonna sound odd, but I love the violence! cause not many people write like that and do it well, I've been adding a bit more death and blood and stuff alike to my story, and this really is a great start!
2 weeks ago
Thanks so much bro, Took your what????

@KoE Thanks bro, and do you mean a good feeling like things are going to turn out well for the characters, or that it's going to be a good story? Either way, thanks
. Also, it's no problem. If you want to make a character, I might be able to throw it in a chapter or two... like I'm going to do with General_Veres and Jaze_Dragon's. I really can't have it as a main character, but could definitely use it for a side one somewhere along the way.

@Dragon Reading that comment both excited and worried me. I saw you quote my descriptions and I was like... please tell me there is nothing wrong with them
, so I'm thrilled that you like them. I do need to work on grammar and what not, but hey, I mean... I've sorta improved right
? Anyways, thanks so much mate!

@KoA Thanks bro! I know what you mean, violence is part of reality... I mean... read the Bible, and you will know it's no sin to throw extremely violent stuff in your writing... depending on the purpose of it of course. I find the more violent and dark I make the evil in my story, the brighter the light can shine, if you get my picture
. I should start reading your story O_O... sorry that I haven't yet
2 weeks ago
I think road trips really help with my creativity, I always feel refreshed and anew when working on projects in a new/newer place.
2 weeks ago
@greenie, yea I just got back from writing about pulling kunai out of teens back, 0_0
and it's cool, cause I never read your first one, ._.
2 weeks ago
and yea I just can't make realistic fantasy without it, if you catch my drift
2 weeks ago
Well . . . I'm late to the party, but I'm also . . . hyped. And listening to "Unleashed" while typing this might have something to do with that, but Greenie, wow. Impressive, to say the least.
I'm in that trying-to-not-overreact-while-still-being-impressed mood, I suppose.
What I have to say is this: I can't wait for the next chapter.

2 weeks ago
@Greenie, No problem! I've taken to using epic more then nice my writing teacher told us that nice is a banned word when we're writing a paper
2 weeks ago
What would you want with a Walmart, Greeny? Planning on being the next MrBeast?
2 weeks ago
he goes to a mall by my LEGO store, I haven't seen him yet but I'm trying,
2 weeks ago
@Operator Thanks so much bro! I'm feeling very confident about this story after all these responses... also, believe it or not, but I opened my computer last night, looked at your comment, and for some reason I can't remember just shut the computer and forgot to read it
... I remember that like 6:00 this morning... and was confused... anyways, I'm also hypedImage

@Fireblade Oh

@Dragon Nah, I just thought I might sorta change the name WallyWorld, and maybe... sorta... stop supporting a bunch of pretty sick stuff...
2 weeks ago
@KoA What! How do you know that?!?!?
2 weeks ago
he lives in Greenville, which is 1 hour and 25 mins from where I live, ._.
2 weeks ago
also, i became a LEGO master last night, letmi get a pic
2 weeks ago
@KoA Greenville... South Carolina? Or North Carolina...? I can't remember which one it's located in
2 weeks ago
SC, i live in NC, ok my story has taken over my legos, 0-0 all i make is LP:LW Image
2 weeks ago
thanks! still needs some work before I send it to brickvault, but I like them a lot more than I thought I would!
2 weeks ago
@KoA What is BrickVault?

@Chuck Thanks!
is this the sci-fi story?
I mean, there's droids and blasteds and big worms... so...
1 week ago
@Justy Yes... I mean, you made a sci-fi character for it... I though the genre was very clear...
1 week ago
I hate it when you click 'POST COMMENT', and before it finishes loading you read a typo and know there is nothing you can do about it O_O
1 week ago
I just re-read it, and I know who the stranger is...
1 week ago
@Greenie, yeah its one of the most annoying things that happens in mecabricks, well that and when your in workshop and you accidently click close tab, then it comes up with are you sure you want to close this tab and then you click the wrong one and it closes all your progress on a top secrete project you've been working on sense you joined this website
1 week ago
@Fireblade Yeah, that stinks O_O... thankfully you can recover your work, in some cases.
1 week ago
my apologies that was oddly specific
1 week ago
@Fireblade I forgive you, reluctantly.
I would have saved my project multiple times, even when I'm still working on it.
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